you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Congratulations! We have a period
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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