Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
