i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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