Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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