my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No subtext here. People are naked.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
