Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
