i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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