my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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