Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
