epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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