So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
