Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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