i think my tv is drunk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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