Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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