i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
