I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im six kinds of drunk right now
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
