The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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