Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
