guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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