That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
