Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
