Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
