none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize