How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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