The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
