I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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