I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
