i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
