I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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