just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
