I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
