do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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