you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
