did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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