Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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