After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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