It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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