I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
