if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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