Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
