I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
