that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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