that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
its not stalking. its research.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
