She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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