Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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