It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
