he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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