i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think my moral compass just broke
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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