question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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