4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
