I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
