I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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