chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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